May 2013
45 posts
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT
YOU NEED TO STOP
when I open my restaurant I’m going to hire the back of house staff on how well they can whip things with tea towels, and the front of house on how well they can take being whipped
just fucking flailing
I’m drowning all of a sudden
“The threesome I had last night was pretty porny. A bit like the human centipede”
the mini maglite is kept permanently in our bathroom now because part of my daily routine is to inspect crevices all over the place with it
body crevices
1 tag
it’s 2013 why is it so fucking hard to stream an episode of fucking mad men
1 tag
the only things I’ve done today is nap to rainymood.com and watch youtubes of baby birds hatching and I’m exhausted
you know when you exhale through your nose and it squeaks
“we should get married”
“do you think I would make a good exwife?”
Anonymous asked: where did you get that pretty dress from if you don't mind me asking, you look so nice in it
just found a sesame seed in my belly button
I just ate a bag of choccy covered peanuts
feeling a bit ceebs out
the other side of my face is swollen and bruised because i walked into my fireplace when I went for a 4am wee the other night
I have this ENORMOUS pimple brewing on my cheek and last night I must have been sleeping with that side of my face on my pillow because the pain from putting pressure on it woke me up
April 2013
35 posts
urrrggggggh I can’t get ahead
“he’s no crow”
“just because you want him inside of you don’t make him one of us”
You just told me to fuck off in as many words
